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Foundations' Blog

The Struggle of People Pleasing and How to Overcome It

Can you relate to this feeling? The nagging urge to say yes when you really want to say no. The desire to make everyone happy even if it leaves you exhausted and overwhelmed. We often struggle with people pleasing and fearing what others think of us. We want to be liked. We want to make a good impression. We want to fulfill the command to love our neighbor. But at what cost? When does our need to please shift from love and service to anxiety and approval seeking? If you constantly worry about offending others or struggle to be authentic in your relationships, it may be time to overcome your tendency to be a people pleaser.

Why We Tend to Fear People & Seek to Please Them

As embodied souls, created to be relational, many of us innately desire to appease people and win their approval. This urge often stems from our fear of rejection and desire for acceptance.

  • We worry about what others think of us, so we try to meet their expectations. We say "yes" when we should say "no" to keep...

Praise in Public, Confront in Private

I first heard the phrase, "Praise in public, confront in private," years ago. I was with a group of leaders from my church, and we were at a conference in Rochester, NY. The speaker talked about how this was one of the policies that they had in their church.

I first heard the phrase, "Praise in public, confront in private," years ago...

Conflict is one of the things which tears churches apart. It is what often ends many relationships between groups or individuals. Let's be honest – conflict is everywhere. Especially as Americans, we like to debate and disagree on everything. Maybe it's our competitive nature, but often we talk about things that divide us more than things that unite us. It's not whether or not we will have conflict, but how we will handle it that is important to understand. In some ways, conflict can be good. Conflict comes from being conflicted. Our discussion being conflicted is the opposite of complacency. Most likely, they are complacent if a marriage,...


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