This November, my wife and I will be married for 27 years. I would say a large portion of our marriage has been very positive, but some struggles required us to maneuver and navigate to get through them. Many couples have more than simple struggles. They have unfulfilled longings, emotional upheavals, and disappointments piled upon hurts and regrets. And many rightfully conclude that marriage should not be like this. They may ask excellent questions, such as "How did things get so bad between us? What does God want me to do? What does He want for me?"
These are very good questions. While pondering the answer, Christian friends are often sought for their counsel to determine God's will. Perhaps your counsel has been sought. Surely God doesn't want us to be in a miserable marriage, right? Since God is good and God is love, many argue that He does not want people to be miserable. Well, God delivered the Israelites from the misery of slavery and oppression many times. Therefore, we...
We’ve all heard someone say, “If I had a dollar for every time someone said ____________, I’d be rich!” Maybe we’ve said it ourselves. Honestly, this is how I feel whenever I hear a Christian give advice that sounds biblical but is rooted in psychology. The advice has a “form of godliness, but denies its power.” In other words, it sounds good, spiritual, and wise, but in the end, it is empty. People mean well when they help others. We want to help people experience happiness and peace, yet our counsel may fall short because we’ve been duped into believing the counsel is true and accurate. There are three common pieces of bad advice Christians give one another, all of which fall short of the Gospel. Let’s take a look at the first most common piece of advice well-meaning Christians give, but it is not Biblical. The other two will be mentioned in future blogs.
“You need to love yourself more” or
“You need to love...
Charles arrived at the counseling appointment defeated. He could not hide his slumped shoulders or his downcast face. He didn’t look me in the eyes, nor could he wrestle a smile during his typical greeting. Charles sat slowly on the loveseat facing me while looking down and wondered why he kept coming back. He admitted he often feels better when he leaves, but yesterday’s wounds are today’s ghosts. His past sins haunt him and hound him until he feels utterly worthless and undeserving of any good thing. He stated, “I just can’t forgive myself.” Charles was living in self-condemnation, and he had some choices regarding how he would like to resolve his dilemma: Will he accept God’s grace, or will he live in self-condemnation?
If you watch movies, you are probably familiar with alternate endings. Writers and producers develop several endings to a movie to see which one would go over best for the test audience, and then they decide which ending...
Through the Christ-centered counseling that Foundations provides, individuals and families can experience how scripture and a relationship with Jesus Christ can help them navigate and even overcome life's challenges. This method of professional counseling recognizes that (without ignoring physical concerns) spiritual issues often lie at the root of the difficulties we face in life, and it allows God's grace to be the solution. In this post, we will uncover some ways this approach to healing facilitates transformation for those who seek it out.
This method of professional counseling recognizes that (without ignoring physical concerns) spiritual issues often lie at the root of the difficulties we face in life, and it allows God's grace to be the solution.
Christ-centered counseling affirms that the Bible is the authoritative Word of God and provides guidance for living a fulfilling life. All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable...
Scripture contains a wealth of wisdom when it comes to mental health. For thousands of years, God's Word has helped people cope with and endure their struggles, and it continues to be a source of comfort and guidance for His people today. In this post, we'll explore some of the relevant topics found in the Bible and how they apply to our lives.
Jesus also experienced many emotions and challenges, so He can understand what we deal with in life. Among other things He is our mediator, comforter, and empathizer.
The Bible is full of passages that emphasize God's care and compassion for His people. For example, Psalm 34:18 reads: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." This verse reminds us that God cares deeply about our mental well-being and is always there to offer comfort and support. Jesus also experienced many emotions and hardships, so He can understand what we deal with in life. Knowing that...
We've all heard the adage, "Don't cry over spilt milk." It is the common instruction we might tell our children when they make a mistake, and we tell them it's no big deal. These are our wise words to let them know that the accident was a small thing and not worth crying over. Mistakes happen. We simply clean it up and move on. But what if you're an adult and the accident is not a simple cleanup like milk?
Mistakes happen. We simply clean it up and move on. But what if you're an adult and the accident is not a simple cleanup like milk?
This is what happened to "Joe" as he painted his basement. It all happened so fast that he didn't even recall what happened, except that the mostly full white paint can ended up on its side, spilling about a quarter of the paint from the can onto the floor. For the next 15 minutes, while cleaning up his mess on the laminate flooring, Joe let out a series of curses that would likely make a sailor proud to be his friend.
What would cause this...
I first heard the phrase, "Praise in public, confront in private," years ago. I was with a group of leaders from my church, and we were at a conference in Rochester, NY. The speaker talked about how this was one of the policies that they had in their church.
I first heard the phrase, "Praise in public, confront in private," years ago...
Conflict is one of the things which tears churches apart. It is what often ends many relationships between groups or individuals. Let's be honest – conflict is everywhere. Especially as Americans, we like to debate and disagree on everything. Maybe it's our competitive nature, but often we talk about things that divide us more than things that unite us. It's not whether or not we will have conflict, but how we will handle it that is important to understand. In some ways, conflict can be good. Conflict comes from being conflicted. Our discussion being conflicted is the opposite of complacency. Most likely, they are complacent if a marriage,...
Suffering is an unavoidable part of life. Everyone experiences it at some point—some more than others—and it can be challenging to make sense of it all. But what does the Bible say about suffering? How does it address our questions and offer comfort in times of need? Let’s explore how scripture speaks to our suffering and provides insight into why we experience hardship.
In Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, King Solomon reflects on the cyclical nature of life and states that “there is a time for everything – a time to be born, a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot...”
The Bible acknowledges that suffering exists and affirms that it is a natural byproduct of living in a fallen world. In Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, King Solomon reflects on the cyclical nature of life and states that “there is a time for everything – a time to be born, a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot...” The passage also mentions “a...
We All Identify in Some Way(s)
Identity is a powerful thing. It is how we define ourselves, and it clarifies our purpose. It can also be challenging to nail down. Think about it. We all have thousands of identities at any given moment. Sometimes that makes it difficult to answer basic, vital questions like, 'Who am I?'
We're going to walk through a simple visualization technique that hopefully makes it easier to sort all of that out. Let's start by imagining a bunch of steps (as in the image above). Think of each step as just one facet of your identity. For example: student, brother, mechanic, mother, stamp collector, priest, knitting enthusiast, and so on. Write a few down, and see how many you can come up with in your own life. For our purposes, let's put the most important ones lower down on the diagram – closest to our foundation.
At any time, we might live out one facet of our identity more prominently than others. For the woman in the example above, today she's...
We attend church because our faith in Christ means a lot to us. It is the foundation of who we are. When we struggle with life issues, we come to church with those burdens. We are encouraged through the service. Our spirits are lifted up through singing, reminding us how great God is and how much He loves us. We are not only inspired by the preaching of how God can work in our lives but are also given support through our local faith community–verbal exchanges, smiles, and those who would even pray for us.
We are not only inspired by the preaching of how God can work in our lives but are also given support through our local faith community...
But what would happen if you couldn't have that encouragement? You may be going through this circumstance right now. It's a double blow when we fear potential physical illness and miss out on gathering with God's people. What if you knew you weren't alone? This situation is common to us today, with the presence of covid and other...
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