Foundations' Blog

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment." — 1 John 4:18 (NIV)

Fear is a universal human experience; no one can live long without encountering it. While fear itself is not a sin (even our perfect Savior experienced it in the Garden of Gethsemane), it is something we are cautioned against and encouraged to overcome. The only fear we are to retain is the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 9:10, Matthew 10:28). In this blog, I want to explore 1 John 4:18 and consider how "perfect love" can dispel the fear we face.

What comes to mind when you think of "perfect love"? It might be a love that we yearn to feel, possess, and share. The idea of experiencing or expressing perfect love seems beyond our reach, as our love is often tainted by selfish motives and agendas. Yet, perfect love does exist—it emanates from a perfect God, who is Love.

To understand this concept, let’s examine the verse within its context:

"God is love....

I’m not a big fan of heights, or in fact, small spaces. So when we took a trip to Paris last Summer and entered a hundred-year-old elevator in the Eiffel Tower to get to the top, I was hesitant. For me, I had to fight a battle of fear in my head while taking slow breaths and saying mini prayers. Then when we reached the top, I needed to focus on the physical sensations of my feet touching the floor and my hands in contact with the railings to stay grounded and not allow my fears to get the best of me. A victory, for sure.

A common theme in movies and books includes a main character who is afraid of something and then chooses to overcome their fear through a brave act to protect others, defeat a foe, or save the world. This is a well-received theme in movies because everyone can relate to being afraid in certain situations or afraid of other people, and we all desire to have the bravery to overcome the fear (or wish we did in the past). 

Fear is powerful in our lives. It...

For several reasons, anxiety is rampant in our country. According to statistics, 20% of adults have anxiety. When we searched our blog website, the entries on anxiety are at the top for foot traffic.

Many people have anxiety. The question is, what can we do about it? What if I told you that during a season of thankfulness, thankfulness itself may be one weapon against anxiety?

The apostle Paul links thankfulness as one tool for defeating anxiety in the book of Philippians. You may be thinking, “What does Paul have to worry about? He was an apostle. He had great faith.”

We can look at where Paul was writing this letter and get a clue. The apostle Paul was placed in prison by the Romans at the time he wrote the book of Philippians. He is literally writing this book from jail. If you know anything about the first-century Romans, prison probably didn’t have cable TV, a gym to work out in, or softball leagues.

Paul was there because he was hated. Yet he says,...

Over the past few months, my wife’s car has steadily gotten louder near the engine. Recognizing this as a concern, I brought her car to the mechanic only to have the problem diagnosed as having a hole in the exhaust manifold that required rather expensive repairs. The problem had to be identified, the old manifold had to be removed, the new manifold had to be installed, and the car had to be put back together. The problem was quickly identified and easily fixed in a few steps, but at a great cost.

As human beings, our problems or concerns are more complex than a vehicle. We can’t simply fix the past, remove negative feelings, install happy feelings, or make problems go away in a few hours or days. We are complex beings created in His image. As so, when we have struggles or recognize that we can’t figure things out or fix ourselves and need help, we turn to others for wisdom, insight, and practical help. We know we can’t do it alone, and our faith will play a...

It doesn’t seem too long ago that we were celebrating the end of the school year and looking forward to endless pool days and ice cream with friends, beach trips, and maybe even a lazy day or two; and suddenly we are seeing a few rogue leaves falling and school notices coming in the mail. Despite our best efforts to keep summer going even a little bit longer, the school season is upon us. With that, it’s a good time to prepare our kids for returning back to school, whether it’s homeschool, public school, or something in between, this is a season of transition back to schedules and homework. If you are anything like me, this is going to require some preparation for us as parents as well, not only our physical schedules but also our own hearts.

For some students, school brings a sense of normalcy and routine back to their lives, they get to see friends every day and interact with others in a way that summer does not always allow. For other students, the return to...

When life seems overwhelming and trials seem to be queued up awaiting their turn, it is easy to ask God why? Why does HER life seem so easy? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does God ALLOW this pain to continue? Is Romans 8:28 only relevant after I'm through my trial? For some of these questions, we will not have answers on this side of eternity; however, one basic truth helps them all make a little bit more sense: 

As human beings, we do not get to define good. 

Webster's dictionary defines the word as "something enjoyable." That human definition certainly does not effectively portray the meaning of this verse! If we expect Romans 8:28 to translate to "all things work together for something enjoyable," it will be impossible to trust God's Word.

However, what if good is not defined by me? If I'm going through trials in my marriage, if the orders just came through for another deployment, if I lost my job, if...

I’ve been researching used cars to replace mine for the past few months. I often come across a used vehicle on Marketplace being sold “As Is.” In other words, the car has cosmetic or engine issues, and the seller will not do anything to it. If one takes the keys and buys it “as is,” they must put the money and effort into any repairs. I might be attracted to such an offer if I was a handy person or a mechanic. However, I am not. So I will easily pass on most things sold “as is.”

Sometimes we are challenged to accept things “as is” - or just as they are. We often go to a place of denial so we don’t have to accept things as they are. Whether it is a situation, a health diagnosis, a death, or something else entirely, acceptance of the situation “as is” is a process and frequently the last step of the process (such as Kuhbler-Ross’s stages of grief). 

Acceptance is a key aspect of every relationship, even...

Are you feeling led to pursue Christ-centered counseling to work through the issues in your life? That's wise! Counseling can be incredibly helpful for growth and healing. But to make the most of this method of therapy, there are a few things you’ll want to keep in mind. The counselor's role is to guide you towards Christ and help you apply God's Word to your life (James 1:22), but you also play an important role. The effort you put into the process will, in part, determine what you gain from it. With the right mindset and expectations, counseling can lead to life-changing breakthrough. Approaching it with honesty, vulnerability, and a desire for change by God's grace can be a pivotal time in your life. However, the choice is ultimately up to you. Ready to get started? Here's what you need to know…

Preparing for Your Counseling Session:

To make the most of your session, consider these tips:

1. Create a list of questions and concerns you want to discuss. Write them down...

Can you relate to this feeling? The nagging urge to say yes when you really want to say no. The desire to make everyone happy even if it leaves you exhausted and overwhelmed. We often struggle with people pleasing and fearing what others think of us. We want to be liked. We want to make a good impression. We want to fulfill the command to love our neighbor. But at what cost? When does our need to please shift from love and service to anxiety and approval seeking? If you constantly worry about offending others or struggle to be authentic in your relationships, it may be time to overcome your tendency to be a people pleaser.

Why We Tend to Fear People & Seek to Please Them

As embodied souls, created to be relational, many of us innately desire to appease people and win their approval. This urge often stems from our fear of rejection and desire for acceptance.

• We worry about what others think of us, so we try to meet their expectations. We say "yes" when we should say "no" to keep...

Forgiveness is a profound concept that can lead to healing broken relationships, restoring peace, and promoting emotional growth. It can often reduce feelings of anxiety, anger, resentment, and depression as well. Forgiveness is a central theme that resonates throughout scripture too. It's not only an act of mercy and compassion but also a divine command that echoes God's love for humanity. In this post, I’d like to consider the significance of forgiveness for everyone (not just the Church), its impact on individuals and communities, and its transformative potential.

The Command of Forgiveness
God's Word repeatedly emphasizes forgiveness as a central aspect of the Christian faith. Jesus Christ, the embodiment of love and compassion, taught His disciples to forgive others as God forgives them. In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus specifically instructs believers to ask for forgiveness and to extend it to those who have wronged them. Then again, in Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus encourages His...